November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

My Butter Half

| Minnesota, USA | Food & Drink, Love/Romance, Top

(A couple approaches me at the movie theater’s concession stand.)

Me: “Hi, what can I—”

Customer: “Give me a green tea.”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t have green tea.”

Customer: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Well, fine! What DO you have?”

(I point right behind me where all our sodas are clearly listed.)

Customer: “Well, FINE! Give me a Diet Coke, then.”

Customer Husband: “…And a large popcorn, please!”

Me: “Sure! That all?”

Customer Husband: “Yep!”

Me: “Cool. You guys want butter on the popcorn?”

Customer Husband: *giant smile* “Ye—”

Customer: “Of course not! Unlike you, I have a figure to maintain! I can’t have BUTTER on my popcorn! Really, are you an idiot?!”

(I go to get them their popcorn, but I purposely put way too much butter in the bucket and shovel a thin layer of popcorn on top to hide the butter.)

Me: “Here you go!”

Customer: “Well, finally!”

Customer Husband: *whispers as his wife turns away* “Butter?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(The guy hands me a five dollar bill. To this day, my coworkers and I refer to him as ‘Butter Man.’)