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  • Murphy’s Law And Customers: Do Not Mix

    | Newcastle, UK |

    Customer: “Hey, I’m booked to get the train tomorrow at 0800 to Manchester. Can you tell me if the train will be on time?”

    Me: “Good morning. I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to predict if it will be on time, but this one is fairly reliable.”

    Customer: “How come you can’t just tell me if it’s going to be on time?

    Me: “Well, there’s any number of things that could go wrong on the day that I couldn’t predict. For example flooding, the train breaking down, maybe even a sick dri–”

    Customer: “Oh my god! All those things are going to be wrong with the train?”

    Me: “No, I’m sure not all that will happen at once. Those are just examples.”

    Customer: “So it’s on time, then?”

    Me, giving up: “Yes, it’ll be on time.”

    Customer: “Great, why didn’t you just say that?”

    (Sure enough the next day the whole mainline was brought to a standstill by a lorry hitting a rail bridge.)

    Customer: “YOU SAID IT WOULD BE ON TIME! NOW I’M GOING TO BE ****ING LATE!”

    Me: “Sorry sir, but I doubt I would have been able to predict that! There will be a bus coming to take you to a different station where you can–”

    Customer: *rants abusively*

    Manager: “Look, would you just piss off? We are not omniscient! Next time you need to book a train, book it somewhere else!”

    Customer: *storms out*