Customer: “Ooh, don’t you have lovely eyes? You’re like a little china doll!”

Me: “Uh, thanks…is that like a porcelain doll?”

Customer: “Yes! Yes! A porcelain doll! from Europe! Your skin is so pale, and your eyes are so big! Oh my, you do look just like a china doll! I bet you have so many different outfits! And a little house! And lots of hats!

Coworker: *joking* “Actually, she’s a collector’s item. Very rare. A one-off, in fact.”

Customer, to me: “LIFT UP YOUR HAIR!”

Me: “Why?!”

Customer: “I need to see your stamp of authenticity!”