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    Morbid Curiosity Killed The Cat

    | Utah, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Pets & Animals

    (I answer a crisis hot line for suicide, depression, drugs, any sort of thing they want to talk about.)

    Me: “[Name of Crisis Line]. My name is [name]. Do you feel comfortable sharing your first name?”

    Caller: ”Do people really ever call this line?”

    Me: “Yes, they certainly do. What’s on your mind today?”

    Caller: “Well that’s stupid. Do you just listen to depressed people all day?”

    Me: “I listen to whatever is on their mind. That’s what we’re here for.”

    Caller: “You should just tell them to off themselves.”

    Me: “Sir, if you would like to speak to an operator, I’m right here. If you are prank calling us, that is a misdemeanor and we will prosecute.”

    Caller: *obviously faking it* “Oh… well you see …my… um… my… cat…died.”