Monolingual Morons

(Our line has signs marked enter and exit in both English and Spanish. A elderly gentleman is waiting at the exit sign while a line forms at the enter sign.)

Me: “Sir, I would be happy to help you, but you will need to get in line by the “enter” sign.”

Customer: “How would I know where that is? I don’t speak Spanish.”

Me: “Yes, but the sign is in English and Spanish and the English word is on top.”

Customer: “But I can’t read this sign. It’s in Spanish.”

Me: “And English.”

Customer: “I don’t read Spanish!”