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    Money, Money Everywhere But Not A Brain To Think

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Top

    Gas station customer: “I want your name!”

    Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Customer: “There is a huge scratch on the trunk of my Lexus from your f***ing pump hose. I am going to sue this store for damages. I want your f***ing name!”

    Me: “My name is Larry, sir, just like it says on the name tag. What happened?”

    Customer: “I pulled up on the other side of the pump, so I had to drag the hose over the trunk to fill up, and the handle scratched my car. I want your full and address. I am suing you for damages.”

    Me: “Let me get this straight… you pulled up to the wrong side of the pump, and you were too dumb to pull around to the right side, so you dragged a metal headed gas hose over the trunk of your car, scratching the paint yourself, and you think I am the one responsible?”

    Customer: “Yes, g**d***it! Give me your last name and address!”

    Me: “No chance in h***. That‚Äôll be $17.23 for the gas.”

    Customer: “F*** you!”

    (He drives off without paying. We caught the whole thing on interior and exterior video, including the license plate of his poor scratched Lexus. The State Troopers caught him before he made it to the next freeway exit. I quit that job the next day.)