Not The Grapest Thief

(I am in a department store when I hear chewing noises. As I round the corner I find a very small boy standing at the display stand. He is two at the oldest. He looks up at me with a blank expression, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. His little arm is still buried to the wrist in an opened bag of grapes. I’m standing there in shock, because this tiny child is very clearly alone and is shoving the grapes into his mouth with this confused look, like he isn’t sure why I looked surprised. A woman comes up the aisle with her cart and catches sight of the teensy grape thief. She leans back, hand over her heart, and laughs hysterically.)

Woman: “I did that when I was a kid, back when you could walk to the store! Ooh, my mother would get so mad!”

(Then she strolled away, still laughing, leaving me standing there with the grape-eating baby. I just kind of stood there open-mouthed until someone I really really hope was the boy’s mother came over from two aisles away to put him in the cart and leave. Apparently the laughing woman thought that a baby stealing from a grocery store was funny. Wonder if the toddler’s mother felt the same way?)