Customer: “I bought this a few days ago to stop my cats from scratching the furniture, and now they’re scratching it more than ever!”

(I take a moment to look at the bottle, and see that it is clearly labeled “Catnip Spray”.)

Me: “Well, they’re going to scratch more because this is catnip spray.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “You spray this where you want cats to scratch… didn’t you read the bottle before you bought it?”

Customer: “I don’t have time to read; I just grabbed the first thing on the shelf.”

Me: “Um… you just grabbed the first thing on the shelf?”

Customer: “Yes, now get me the right stuff so they’ll stop scratching!”