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    Minimally Criminal

    | New Zealand |

    Me: “Good Afternoon, Civil Department.”

    Caller: “Hi, I’d like to know what happened in my son’s case today”.

    Me: “I can’t tell you any details, but I can tell you if they have finished. Can you give me the case number?”

    Caller: “Oh, I don’t have one.”

    Me: “Are you sure this is a civil case and not criminal?”

    Caller: “Definitely Civil. Not Criminal! My son’s not a criminal!”

    Me: “Okay, could I get a last name to see if I can find it that way?”

    Caller: “The name is *****.”

    Me: “Okay, that name isn’t showing up at all. Are you sure its not a Criminal case?”

    Caller: “MY SON IS NOT A CRIMINAL! How dare you suggest it, you b**ch!”

    Me: “Okay… can you tell me what the case was about?”

    Caller: “Oh, kidnapping and assault.”

    Me: *transfers to Criminal*