(A kid walks up and asks to buy a pack of cigarettes.)

Me: “Could I see your ID please?”

(The kid hands me an un-laminated piece of hand-cut white paper with a picture taped to it and all the “information” handwritten.)

Me: “Seriously, you’re going to try this?”

Customer: “It’s my military ID…”

Related:
Military Intelligence, Part 3
Military Intelligence, Part 2
Military Intelligence, Part 1