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  • Military Intelligence, Part 2

    | Huntsville, AL, USA |

    (We had a notice from one of the Nevada affiliates that Las Vegas residents would be suffering from a network outage due to a problem with their broadcasting equipment.)

    Customer: “I think someone is standing next to your satellite with a ham radio. You need to run out and get them to stop.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but that’s not the problem–”

    Customer: “I will have you know, son, I am a Gunnery Sergeant. I’ve worked with Hand Operated Radios for years and I’m telling you RIGHT NOW…there is someone standing next to your satellite with a d*** radio and it’s interfering with my signal. I demand you to get out there and tell them to stop.”

    Me: “Far be it from me to ever argue with my clients, but I will have to at this time. I understand that you’re a Gunny Sergeant and that you’ve operated HAM radios for years, but I know my satellite equipment, and it’s not possible for someone to be standing next to my satellite with a radio.”

    Customer: “Oh? Really, smart man? Why is that?”

    Me: “Because our satellites are in outer space. Furthermore Las Vegas has an outage going on due to a technical issue with their broadcasting equipment.”

    Customer: “Oh. Okay.”

    *click*

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