Mile High Blood Pressure

(I work for a very successful low-budget airline. On this particular day, there is an air traffic control strike, which has caused an hour delay to the flight. One passenger has been kicking off at everything since he has got on board. He’s also traveling with his kids. We are in the air, doing the food service. We have run out of a popular sandwich that he wanted four of.)

Passenger: “This is f****** ridiculous! I’ve paid for a f****** sandwich!”

Colleague: “I’m terribly sorry about that, sir. Is there a different sandwich I could get you, or would you like a refund?”

Passenger: “I don’t like any off the other f****** sandwiches. I wanted a [sandwich] and you don’t have it, so you can f*** off!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Unfortunately, we can’t guarantee availability. Here’s your money back for the sandwich. Can I get you anything else?”

Passenger: “You can f*** off, f****** mugging me off! I’ve just been charged five f****** pounds for a [soft drink]!”

(The sandwiches come as part of a deal where if you buy a soft drink, you get a free packet of crisps. As the sandwiches had been put through our machine already, the customer in question is actually up on the deal, having still gotten the free items.)

Colleague: “If I can just take you through your receipt, sir, you’ll see you are actually up on the deal…”

Passenger: “F*** you! You’re s***, and [Airline] is s***! F*** off, you f****** c***, and get back to your poxy little job!”

(At this point my colleague’s eyes are watering. I go to get a manager. When we get back, despite having moved the trolley to serve the rest of the cabin, the passenger is still kicking off.)

Manager: “No! You do not talk like that to my crew, and you do not swear on board this aircraft. There are kids on board!”

Passenger: “They’re my f****** kids, so f*** off!”

Manager: “There are other kids around you. Do not swear in front of them, and don’t swear at us, sir. We are trying to help you.”

(At this point, I’ve spoken to the captain to explain what’s going on. We arrange to have the police meet the aircraft, not to have him arrested, but to speak to him and make him realise that his behaviour is not acceptable. The captain then does a PA to say that abuse against staff will not be tolerated. Other passengers are getting involved at this point, backing us up, but the passenger continues to shout and swear…)

Passenger: “F***** discrimination, that’s what it is! If I ran a business like this, it would f****** go under!”

(He continues until we land. As everyone is disembarking, the captain comes out and approaches the passenger…)

Captain: “Mr. [Name]? Nice to meet you. I have someone I’d like to introduce you to…”

(He passed him to the biggest police officer I have ever seen. The passenger went white as he got off the plane. The best bit? The police ran a check on his name and it turned out he was a wanted man, and he ended up being arrested! If he’d just kept his mouth shut, then he wouldn’t have been arrested!)

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