Me: “Hi, [music store], this is [my name]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Where the h*** do I plug this guitar in?”

Me: “Oh, you have an electric guitar there? And an amplifier?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just bought this beginner’s all-in-one package from you guys, and when I opened the box, there’s a cord missing.”

Me: “Um, if you bought the ‘Strat Pack’, it should come with a six foot black cable in a plastic bag.”

Customer: “Yeah, I have that. But where do I plug it in?”

Me: “Just plug one end into the guitar near the bottom, and the other end into the amp where it says ‘input’.”

Customer: “No, I got that already. Where do I plug it in?”

Me: “Um…you already have it connected to the amp?”

Customer: “Yeah, now how do I plug it in? There’s no cord!”

Me: *confused* “Um, I don’t think I understand how you can plug in the guitar and not have it plugged in.”

Customer: “It’s plugged in to the amp already! The amp is plugged in to the wall! How do I plug the GUITAR in to the WALL? It’s an ELECTRIC guitar, right?”

Me: “Ohhh! If you already have it plugged in from the guitar to the amp, then it should work already. Did you try turning on the amp and strumming the guitar yet?”

Customer: “That’s not how it works, is it?!”

(I hear fumbling noises in background, followed by a very loud “TWANG!”)

Customer: “Well, how the h*** did that happen?”

Me: “Got it okay now?”

Customer: *slams phone down with a BANG*