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    Me, Myself, And Iced Tea

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA |

    Me: “Hi! Welcome to [restaurant]!”

    Wife: “Hello. We’ll take two buffets, please.”

    Me: “Alright, would you like drinks?”

    Wife: “I would.”

    Me: “And you, sir?”

    Husband: *gives me an odd look, nods slightly, and then looks at his wife*

    Wife, to her husband: “What’s that look for?”

    Husband: *completely serious* “I don’t like when people talk to me. I can’t hear the voices…”