November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Maybe It Got Chuck Norris’d

| Leesburg, VA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer approaches the repair counter with a paper shopping bag, and I can hear stuff rattling around inside.)

Customer: “I bought this computer here, and it’s broken. I want to return it.”

(She dumps out the bag, and inside is a laptop that is broken completely in half.)

Customer: “It was like this when I opened the box.”

Me: “Okay… well, do you have the receipt, and the original packaging?”

Customer: *hands me a receipt*

Me: “Ma’am, this receipt is from three months ago.”

Customer: “I know, I bought it three months ago but I just opened it today.”

Me: “Well, do you have the original packaging?”

Customer: “No, I threw it away.”

Me: “So, let me get this straight. You opened the box, three months after buying the computer, and the laptop was broken in half, so you threw out the box?”

Customer: “Yeah, I didn’t think I needed it.”

Me: “I really don’t think you can return this.”

Customer: “Alright, but you can fix it. It’s still got a manufacturer warranty.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but manufacturer warranties don’t cover accidental damage, just defects.”

Customer: “But it’s not accidental damage! It was like this when I bought it!”

Me: “I find that really hard to believe, and so would anyone else. Nobody in their right mind would believe that it came out of the box like this.”

Customer: “But why would I lie about that?”

Me: “To get a free repair? I’m sorry, I just can’t do it. Your warranty does not cover accidental damage.”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “But what if it wasn’t an accident?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “What if it wasn’t an accident? I did it on purpose. That’s not accidental damage.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Hmmmmmmm?”

Me: “Have a good day, ma’am.”