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    May We Suggest A Troublemaker Instead

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK |

    Me: “Hi there, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello dear, I was wondering if I could return this coffee machine? It’s not making any coffee.”

    Me: “Oh, right. Well, normally you would send it to the manufacturer and they would repair it.”

    Customer: “Who?”

    Me: “The manufacturer.”

    Customer: “But I bought it here. Have a look at it anyway, son.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll have a quick look.”

    (I open the box to find the machine wrapped in plastic and only slightly wet, but otherwise as clean as a brand new one.)

    Me: “When you tried it out, did you put coffee in it?”

    Customer: “Coffee?”

    Me: “Yes, did you put coffee powder or granules in it?”

    Customer: “No, of course not! Don’t be silly, it’s a coffee machine. It’s meant to MAKE coffee, is it not? Why buy a coffee machine that needs coffee in it to make coffee?!”