Me: “Hello, I’m calling about a bill your [credit card] that you haven’t paid in two months.”

Customer: “I don’t even have this card.”

Me: “Well, is this your address?” *asks address*

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And is this your correct phone number?” *asks phone number*

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “May I verify the last four digits of your social?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s ****.”

Me: “Okay, that’s what we have. Were your last charges at [dentist] and with your phone company on [date]?”

Customer: “Why, yes, I did go there on those dates.”

Me: “So, you used this card.”

Customer: “No, I cut up this card. I don’t have it anymore.”

Me: “Well, the account is still open and you’re still responsible for the money you owe.”

Customer: “No, I cut up the card! I don’t owe anything!”

Me: “You have a balance of $2000 on the card. Even when you cut the card up, you still owe what you spent.”

Customer: “Really?!”