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    Making Them Sleep With The Fishes

    | AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    Me: *answering phone* “Hi. Welcome to [Pet Store], where pets are family. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: “Hello, I’m looking to return a fish that I bought yesterday. He is dead now.”

    (She seems a little slow, and mumbles at the same time, so I just assume that she is embarrassed by the fact that the fish died so quickly.)

    Me: “Of course we can. Just as long as you bring in the receipt, and the body of the fish, we can exchange it. No problem.”

    Caller: “Oh. Okay. That’s good.”

    Me: “Was that everything today?”

    Caller: “I was wondering if it was my fault.”

    Me: “Sorry? Do you mean if it was your fault if the fish died? I am sure that it wasn’t your fault. These things happen.”

    Caller: “Well, was it my fault when I hit him on the head with a spoon?”

    Me: “Excuse me? Why would you do that?”

    Caller: “Well, he wasn’t going to sleep so I hit him on a head with a spoon. So he would sleep.”

    Me: “That’s… not how it works.”

    Caller: “Oh. Well. I’ll come for my other fish now.” *click*