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    Making Phoney Claims

    | Calabasas, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (A female customer has just left the store after receiving her order. She then returns, extremely agitated.)

    Customer: “My phone is missing!”

    Me: “Did you leave it in the store?”

    Customer: “Of course not! I’m not stupid. It was in my car!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, no one’s turned in a phone.”

    (The customer then proceeds to search all over the not-exactly-large shop, including overturning the wastebasket in the restroom and questioning other patrons. Meanwhile, I take my rather expensive touch-screen phone to check the time.)

    Customer: “Hey, that’s my phone!”

    Me: “No, it’s not. It’s mine.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me! People who work someplace like this can’t afford phones like that! Is that why you made my order take so long? So you could steal my phone?”

    Me: “Are you saying while your coffee was being made, I snuck out the back door, ran around the building, found the one car in the parking lot that belonged to you, broke in, stole your phone, and got back in time to help the next customer in line?”

    Customer: “So you admit it! I’m calling the police!”