Making I Scream

(I work at a large national ice cream chain. Because corporate tries to be ‘fun,’ our service door says ‘Ice Cream Makers Only’ instead of Employees or Staff Only. One day, I see a man in an apron opening the door.)

Me: “Oh, please don’t go in there. It’s only for—”

Man: “Yup, I know, and I work at [Local Ice Cream Shop across the street].”

Me: “Fine, sir. You still can’t go in there.”

Man: “Chill, dude, we make our own ice cream. It’s not imported. I make the ice cream.”

Me: “Stop, please!”

(By now he has figured it out and is turning the handle.)

Me: *quickly locks the door*

Man: “LET ME IN! I deserve to be here!”

Me: “Please leave right now!”

Man: *banging on door* “NO! I AM ONE OF YOU!”