(I work at a mail order pharmacy at the receptionist desk. This call comes into the switchboard.)

Me: “Thank you for calling pharmacy. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: “I wanna talk to [name].”

Me: “I’m sorry, there is no one here by that name. Are you a customer of ours?”

Caller: “I need to speak with [different name] because Barack Obama sent some men to try and kill me!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, are you a patient? Do you need medication from us?”

Caller: “No, [different name] stole my rent money and Barack Obama is working with OJ Simpson, who’s in prison, and they are sending some men after me to kill me! Obama apologized to me publicly, but he didn’t mean it! Now he’s trying to send OJ Simpson to kill me!”