Lying Is All Relative(s)

(I am working in my father’s cafe. A customer orders a substantial amount of food.)

Me: “Okay. That will be $36.19 please.”

Customer: “Oh, no. I’m the owner’s brother, so I get all of my food half price.”

Me: “Um, okay. That will still be $36.19, sir.”

Customer: “Excuse me! Do you know who I am!? Now ring my order up right, or I’ll get your purple-haired a** fired!”

Me: “Okay, give me moment.”

(I turn around to the grill line, where my father is cooking.)

Me: “Hey, daddy! This guy says he’s my uncle, and if I don’t give him a discount you’ll fire my purple-haired a**. What should I do?”

(I have never seen someone run out of a restaurant so fast in my life!)