Love The Life Choice, Hate The Life

(A woman called in to make a reservation.)

Woman: “Hi, I’m a vegetarian. What can you do for me?”

Host: “Well, I can check with the kitch–”

Woman: *interrupting* “And I don’t wanna hear pasta, tofu or vegetables!”

Host: “Well, ma’am, what did you have in mind?”

Woman: “I don’t know, but everywhere I call offers me that, and I don’t like any of it!”