(A customer calls our store claiming she’s lost her phone. The routine is to replace the phone if insured, to give them a loaner phone for a few weeks, or to sell them another phone. She has turned down all of those options.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what else we can do for you besides giving you a loaner phone or selling you another one.”

Customer: “No, I have a replacement.”

Me: “Maybe I’m misunderstanding. Why are you calling us?”

Customer: “I lost my phone.”

Me: “…and you already have a replacement for it?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Were you calling to ask if you left it here?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I really don’t understand what you’re asking me to do.”

Customer: “Where’s my phone?”

Me: “We have no way of tracking where your phone is at any given time. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “But I lost my phone. Where is it?”

Me: “I’m truly sorry, but unless you’re wanting another phone to replace your old one, I really can’t help you.”

Customer: “So can you transfer me to your lost and found, then?”

Me: “How about I give you our customer service number, and maybe they can help you out?”

Customer: “Okay…”

(Afterwards, as I was making a memo in the account, I noticed that she’d already called customer service twice. Both times, the call rep had told her we had no way to track her phone down by satellite, network towers, or police scanners.)