(My boss spent 35 years in the Army, and it shows.  He is famous for quoting motivational posters.)

Boss, to camper: “I understand your concern, ma’am, but sometimes you have to crawl before you can walk.”

Camper: “I just wanted to transfer campsites.”

Boss: “Understood.  But sometimes it takes a village, right?”

Camper, to me: “Can I speak with someone who isn’t on crack?”