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    | Fargo, ND, USA |

    College Girl #1: “Our friend is registered here, but we can’t find her name on the computer.”

    College Girl #2: “Yeah, it’s broken.”

    College Girl #1: “She’s like one of our best friends and we need to get her a present.”

    College Girl #2: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Oh, okay, well let’s try it again.”

    (We walk over to the gift registry kiosk.)

    Me: “So is your friend registered for a wedding or baby shower?”

    (The two girls look at each other confused.)

    College Girl #2: “…Wedding?”

    Me: “Okay…what’s her first name?”

    College Girl #1: “Sarah…”

    Me: “Is that with an ‘h’ at the end, or is it just S-A-R-A?”

    (The two girls look at each other confused.)

    Me: “Okay, well the computer can search using the first two letters of the first name, so we’ll just put in S-A. And what is her last name?”

    College Girl #1: *says something unintelligible that sounds like “Pheuyben”*

    Me: “And how do you spell it?”

    (The girls look at each other confused.)

    College Girl #2: “Um…”

    College Girl #1: “Uh…”

    Me: “Does it start with an ‘f’ or a ‘p-h’?”

    College Girl #1: “P-h.”

    College Girl #2: “F.”

    (The girls look at each other confused.)

    (Oh. My. God. If I had “best friends” like that I’d swallow some Drano.)