Light Food For Light Thinkers

(My table has just ordered our unlimited soup and salad.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll go ahead a put this in for you and be right back with your salad and bread.”

Customer: “So, where is y’alls salad bar?”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: *speaking slowly* “The sal-ad ba-ar. Where is it?”

Me: “Um, we don’t have a salad bar, sir. I bring it to your table.”

Customer: “You bring the salad bar to the table?.”

Me: “No, sir, I bring out a bowl of salad for everyone at the table to share.”

Customer: “So, it’s not endless?”

Me: “Yes, it still is endless, I bring out as much salad as you want.”

Customer: “How you gonna know how much I want?”

Me: “I bring out as many bowls as you tell me to bring.”

Customer: “Well, how am I supposed to know how many to tell you when I don’t even know how much is in one?”

Me: “After I bring out the first bowl, you can tell me if you’d like some more.”

Customer: “But I want all my salad now!”

Me: “We don’t bring out all the salad at once so you get the freshest product possible.”

Customer: “But I want it now.”

Me: “As soon as I go back to the kitchen, I can bring it out for you.”

Customer: “But I want it now!”

Me: “So, I’ll go and get it for you.”

(As I finally walk away, I heard him say to this to his wife, “So, where’s my salad?”)