Lieutenant BSOD, Reporting For Duty

(Back story: the customer was getting a blue screen of death on their computer.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling tech support. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I was wondering if you could tell me who General Failure is and why he is trying to read the C drive on my computer?”

Me: “Ummm… excuse me?”

Customer: “I said that some guy named General Failure is reading my C drive.”

Me: “How did you come to this conclusion?”

Customer: “When I booted up my computer I get a big blue screen that says “General failure reading drive C,” and I demand to know who this person is!”

Me: *stifling laughter* “Okay, if you don’t mind I am going to place you on hold for about ten minutes while I do an investigation as to who this person is…”

(I placed the customer on hold and told my co-workers. We laughed our a**es off for ten minutes.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I was able to find some information for you. The bad news is that I wasn’t able to confirm who this ‘General Failure’ is; I am sure he doesn’t work for us. The other thing is that your hard drive is fried, and I would advise you to try to pull any data you can off the drive and invest in a new one. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “Um… no, thank you.”

(Customer hangs up and we laugh our a**es off some more.)