Teaching Them An Important Lesson On Drugs

(I am in the ninth grade. Our school system is rather lax with the substitute teachers it hires. One sways into the classroom, with very red eyes.)

Substitute Teacher: “Hey guys! Let’s learn! Time to learn whatever your teacher decided to cram in yo’ heads today.”

Student #1: “Excuse me, are you okay?”

Substitute Teacher: “YEAH! I’m great!”

Student #2: “…have you been drinking? Or… doing drugs?”

Substitute Teacher: “H*** YES! And loved every minute of it!”

Student #1: *figuring it’s a joke* “Can you just take attendance, please?”

Substitute Teacher: “Sure.”

(The first name on the attendance list is an Asian student’s name.)

Substitute Teacher: “Hey, is the ching chong here?”

Asian Student: “Hey! Don’t call me that!”

Substitute Teacher: *angry* “THE H*** YOU JUST TELL ME?”

Asian Student: “Don’t call me that!”

Substitute Teacher: “I’m the teacher! You don’t tell me what to do!”

(The teacher gets up and walks towards the student threateningly.)

Substitute Teacher: “I’m gonna beat your a**! D*** ching chong, thinking you can disrespect me.”

(I sneak towards the door, and hit the call button.)

Me: “Hey, could we get security in Room 324? Our sub’s on something and he’s gone crazy. He’s threatening a kid.”

Office Lady: “Um… yeah, I guess. This better not be some joke.”

(Security marches in.)

Security: “Hey, we got a call that a teacher’s going crazy. Is this some prank—” *sees teacher swinging at the Asian student* “Oh s***! Grab him!”

(The substitute teacher starts fighting, and they have to literally grab him by the arms and legs and drag him out. They get a new teacher in to watch the class.)

New Teacher: “Wow, guys. Eventful day?”

Me: “Yeah. Does this happen often?”

New Teacher: *sad look* “More often than you’d think, honey.”