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    Last Of The Summer Whine

    | UK | Food & Drink

    (The previous day, the shelf that held all our wine collapsed. This has resulted in the aisle being flooded with wine and closed. I’m working on the customer service desk.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, young man, I was wondering if you had any red wine available?”

    Me: “Ah, well I’m afraid we’ve had an incident and all the red wine we have in store today has been smashed, so no, I’m afraid we have no red wine available. We should have some more in tomorrow if that’s any good to you?”

    Customer: “Hmm… well, do you have any available today?”

    Me: “Well, no. The shelf literally collapsed, and everything we had was on that shelf, and so everything we had is broken. I’m really sorry for the inconvenience.”

    Customer: *raising voice* “Well, young man, you’re not making any sense. I would like some red wine now please.”

    Me: “Well, the best I can do is put you some aside when the delivery comes in tomorrow. Any wine we had today was unfortunately smashed. People are actually trying to clear up the mess now.”

    Customer: “You are incompetent! I would like some red wine now, please!”

    (At this point another colleague who has been nearby listening in comes over to help.)

    Customer: *to my coworker* “Hey, you! This colleague is babbling. I would like some wine. Can I get some wine, please?!”

    Colleague: “Well, that depends on two very important things: how desperate are you, and do you have a straw?”

    Customer: “I do not understand. All of you are babies, and you’re all dumb and ridiculous. You’ll all be fired!”

    Colleague: “Well, maybe if you spent more time listening, and less time shouting you would understand, my colleague here has already explained everything, as have the colleagues clearing up the alcohol aisle that you were shouting at earlier.”

    Customer: “I’ll go to [competitor]! Yeah, you won’t like that, will you?! That shut you up! I’ll never shop here again!”

    Colleague: “We’ll hold you to it. Now, please stop assaulting our staff and leave before I call the police.”

    Customer: “You… I’m… grrr… wine… ARGH!” *leaves*