Knot Possible

| Oshawa, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I work in the lumber department of my store. I spot an older customer, studying our 2×4 lumber. She looks very sour.)

Me: “Hi there, ma’am. Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “Yes, I need a 2×4, but I don’t want one with knots.”

Me: “Well, that’s going to be tricky with these. Just about every one that I’ve ever seen has a least a few knots here and there.”

Customer: “No, I need one with no knots. I’m working on a project and if there are knots, the wood will break.”

Me: “Well, I have some pieces of pine select; no knots in them at all!”

Customer: “Oh, I looked at those. They’re too expensive; I’m on a pension you know. What about that one up there? It looks clean.”

(The customer points to a fresh lift of lumber, and it indeed looks clean, but the home is full.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m willing to bet that they’ll have just as many knots as this lift.”

Customer: “Show me!”

(I begin the process of getting a driver, and pulling down the lift. Due to the fact that I have to close down the main lumber aisle to due so, two assistant managers are watching me. As they watch, I open the lift and start sorting through the pieces, showing the older lady that they all have knots in them.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

(After she leaves, one of the managers walks over to me.)

Manager: “What was wrong with the wood?”

Me: “She didn’t want any knots in her 2×4.”

Manager: “Yeah, find a tree without branches and we’ll give her a 2×4 without knots.”