Parent: "It’s ridiculous that I’m expected to give my information for my daughter to go to college. My parents didn’t pay for my college and I’m not paying for hers. I’m not giving it!"

Me: "Sir, these are the federal government’s regulations. According to the government, until your daughter is 23, married, or has a dependent of her own, she needs to provide your financial information."

Parent: "So, you’re saying if she gets married or knocked up, I don’t have to take care of her?"

Me: "Um…technically, yes."

Parent: *to daughter* "That’s it. You know what you have to do. You need to get pregnant now."

Daughter: *looking mortified and whining to her father* "Daaaad!"

Parent: "I’m serious. If you want to go to college then you’re throwing out your pills and getting yourself knocked up."