• A Pain In The Nugget
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    Keyless Start, Please Meet Clueless (Old) Fart

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer comes out and hands me his valet ticket for his car. I go back to the key box and notice that I had written that he hadn’t given me his keys. He had one of those key-less start cars that you don’t need to put in a key to drive, but the key still has to be in the car to start it.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir, you did not give me the keys to your car.”

    Customer: “Oh yeah. You see this is a key-less start car here, son. You don’t need a key to start it.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I am aware that it is a key-less start, but I still need the key to be in the car to start it.”

    Customer: “I don’t think you understand me here kid. It is KEY-LESS. You don’t need my key. Now please just go get my car.”

    Me: “Sir, I know what you are saying, but I have parked many other cars like this..”

    Customer: “Listen to me boy! I am an adult! I have had that car for a while, and I think I know a little more about how it works than you, don’t you think?! Now go get my car or I will tell the manager!”

    (I try to tell him once again that I need the key, but he just screams and goes to get the manager. I tell the manager what the problem is.)

    Manager: “Sir, he is correct. You need the key to start the car.”

    Customer: “OH MY GOD!! Are you all idiots here?!”

    (I take him and the manager to his car. I ask him for the key, which he gives me.)

    Me: “Sir, please show me how to start the car without the key inside.”

    Customer: “Ok, fine then!”

    (He tries to press the engine start button, which doesn’t start.)

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Customer: “Well, are you going to give me the keys so I can start my car?! Jesus, everyone knows you can’t start this type of car without a key! You should be fired!”

    (That was the night I quit my job.)