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    Justice Is (Self) Served

    | Attleboro, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (This occurred approximately 4-5 years ago, but continues to be a favorite to tell the newbies. There are four concession stand workers and we are all on one side of the stand talking late one night.)

    Me: *returning from other side* “Hey guys, did we remove the salted pretzel from the display?”

    Coworker #1: “Not that I know of.”

    Coworker #2: “Yeah, that’s weird. Maybe the manager knows.”

    (She finds our manager.)

    Coworker #2: “Did you get rid of the pretzel display model?”

    Manager: “No.”

    Coworker #1: “You don’t think someone stole it do you?”

    Coworker #2: “No, that would be stupid!”

    (Then, we see a teen wandering the lobby looking a little bewildered, munching on a pretzel.)

    Me: “Um…did you get that pretzel from the case there?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “That is a display model only. It has been there for a year and a half. It’s also been treated with shellac.”

    (The customer takes a bite.)

    Customer: *muffled* “Tastes pretty good to me!”

    (The customer wanders off unsteadily and we all stare in utter shock.)

    Manager: “Keep an eye on him. He’s probably going to be violently sick.”