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    Jurassic Farce

    | Florida, USA | Top

    Customer: “I need some help locating the item that this coupon advertises. I’ve looked everywhere and just can’t find it.”

    Me: “Let’s see if I can help you here…” *looks at the coupon* “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t sell this item anymore.”

    Customer: “Why not? I have a coupon for it. I wanted to get it for my husband for his birthday next week.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this coupon was expired fifteen years ago. They no longer make this product.”

    Customer: “Can’t you go look for one? I really need it, it would be perfect for him.”

    Me: “…sure! It just so happens that I developed a machine that can warp the space/time continuum. Would you like to accompany me on the trip or would you like to stay here?”

    Customer: “REALLY? Thank you so much! I’ll stay here and wait for you.”

    (I go into the back room for a couple of minutes to let my manager know what I’m about to do, then come back out running.)

    Me: “MA’AM! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! I MESSED UP AND WENT BACK TOO FAR! I ENDED UP GOING BACK TO THE AGE OF THE DINOSAURS AND THERE’S A PISSED-OFF VELOCIRAPTOR RIGHT BEHIND ME!”

    Customer: “OH NO! I’LL GO CALL THE POLICE!” *runs out of the store*

    (I went back to my manager after the customer ran off, and he was literally rolling on the ground laughing.)