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    John Smith Calling On Line One

    | Helsinki, Finland | Tourists/Travel

    (I work at the frequent flyer service for an airline. A customer calls in to check his mileage balance but there are no flights registered.)

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but are no flights registered on your account. I’ll need to check what’s gone wrong and we’ll get the flights registered to your account.”

    Customer: “I knew this! I knew this wouldn’t work. You want everyone to be you frequent flyers so you can spam us with your ads but you won’t give anything back! Not even what you promised!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. I can assure you that’s not how we do business. If you’ll give me just a minute, I’ll figure out what has happened and we’ll get your flights registered.”

    (I scan through our booking system for flights and manage to find three bookings that clearly are his. The bookings are lacking his frequent flyer number and that’s why they haven’t been registered.)

    Me: “I think I found the reason why the flights haven’t been registered, sir. I found these three bookings but your frequent flyer number isn’t registered in the bookings. That’s why the flights weren’t registered. Did you give your frequent flyer number when booking the flights?”

    Customer: “No, I didn’t.”

    Me: “Well, then that’s the reason why the flights weren’t registered. You should always give your frequent flyer number when making a booking. But don’t worry, sir; I can register the flights right here, right now to your account.”

    Customer: “Oh boy, you’re arrogant!”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

    Customer: “I don’t need to give my frequent flyer number!”

    Me: “Well, without the number we cannot register the mileage.”

    Customer: “That’s bull-s***, of course you can! When I call you, you know I call you. When I make a booking, you know I make a booking. When I pay my flights, you know I pay my flights. When I check in, you know I check in. When I board the plane, you know I board the plane. You know people, you track us down, I don’t need to give you any d*** numbers to get anything registered!”

    (As he’s ranting, I’ve searched our frequent flyer records with his first and last name.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry that we haven’t been able to meet your expectations, but we sincerely do need the frequent flyer number to register your flights. We cannot use just passenger names for two reasons: firstly it’s against the privacy laws and secondly we have almost 30 frequent flyers that have exactly the same name as you do sir.”

    Customer: “30?”

    Me: “Yes sir, almost 30. And that’s just the ones that have registered as our frequent flyers, there’s even more who haven’t registered.”

    (He agreed to use his frequent flyer number after that.)