Dead Straight

(My partner and I live about twenty miles apart, so we talk every day. I am bisexual and my partner is pansexual. We’re talking over messages about our day.)

Me: “Hey, sweetie. How was your day?”

Partner: “It’s been better, hun. There’s an LGBT thing at college and loads of people are being really homophobic and saying all these slurs and things. It’s getting me down.”

Me: “Aw, baby, they all suck and you are the best. When the ‘gaypocalypse’ comes we will ride their corpses into the sunset.”

Partner: “… That’s both the sweetest and most disturbing thing you’ve ever said to me.”