It’s Hard Work When You’re Hardly Working, Part 2

(The bell just rang announcing the end of class. A student walks up to my desk and tosses a pile of papers in front of me. This student has never once turned in an assignment and not only failed first semester, but currently has 29% in my class.)

Me: “What is all this?” *staring at papers in confusion*

Student: “Oh, you need to put your name right there.”

Me: “Why?”

Student: “Because you need to put your name right there!”

Me: “No, I’m not asking where to write my name. I’m asking why you need my name on these papers.”

Student: “Oh. I need you to put your name there because I’m applying for a part-time job and you’re going to be my reference. So you need to put your information on my application.”

Me: “Okay. For one, you need to rephrase what you just said. Are you ASKING me to be a reference for you?”

Student: “I guess. Will you be a reference for me?”

Me: “That brings me to my second point. You do realize you are failing my class? Correct?”

Student: “Yeah, I realize that. I’m not stupid.”

Me: “Okay. You are failing my class, have never turned in a single assignment, and you want ME to be the one your potential boss calls to ask about your work ethic?”

Student: “Well, yeah. You’ll just tell them I’m a hard-worker.”

Me: “I will only be your reference if you understand that I will NOT lie for you. I wouldn’t even lie for a friend.”

Student: “Oh, come on! I need this job!”

Me: “No.”

Student: “God, seriously?! What is so difficult about telling them I’m a hard worker?! You just don’t even know my true work ethic! You’re just making assumptions based on some strange idea you have that what I do in your class shows anything about me!”

Me: “No. I’m forming my opinion based on what you DON’T do in my class. And that’s work.”

Student: *grabs papers in a huff and storms off*