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    My Hypocrisy Ate Your Democracy

    | Orlando, FL, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling the Benefits Center, how may I assist you today?”

    Customer: “Hi. I am trying to enroll in my benefits for next year.”

    Me: “Okay, how may I assist you?”

    Customer: “I just got engaged and I want to add my fiance to my insurance.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you won’t be able to add your fiance to your coverage until you get married.”

    Customer: “… So, those f***ing f***ots can get benefits, but I can’t?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, but you have the option to get married, they don’t.”

    Customer: “Those f***ing f***ots, f***ing us over anyway they can!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but you have the option to get married, they do not. That is the only reason we offer health benefits to same-sex domestic partners.”

    Customer: “What if I can’t get married? What are you going to do about that?”

    Me: “Why can’t you get married?”

    Customer: “Well, a**hole if you must ask… it’s because I am already married.”

    Me: “Sir, I can assure you we don’t pay for infidelity.”