It’s Going To Be A Tough Quarter

Customer: “Can you help me put packing tape on this box so I can ship it?”

Me: “Of course.”

(I help her seal the box, which is full of nice clothes. Then I put the box’s measurements in and show her the prices.)

Me: “Looks like your cheapest bet will be through USPS at [price].”

Customer: “What about this option?”

(She points at a USPS option that is about 25 cents cheaper than what I offered.)

Me: “That’s the Media Mail rate. It only applies if you’re shipping books or CDs.”

Customer: “Well, I’m shipping books.”

Me: “No, I saw the contents of your package when I sealed it. You’re not shipping books or CDs, so I can’t give you the media rate.”

Customer: “But I want the cheaper price.”

Me: “It’s only a difference of 25 cents. It isn’t that big a difference, is it?”

Customer: “Can’t you, like, just say that I’m shipping books?”

Me: “You’re asking me to lie and put my job at risk just to save you a quarter?”

Customer: “Yes! God! Is that too much to ask to save me some money?”