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    , | Buffalo, NY, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I ordered some food and I need a refund.”

    Me: “Of course – can you please explain what the matter with your food was?”

    Customer: “Well, I drove it home and put it on the counter. My husband asked me to help him rake up some leaves. When I got back in, the dog had gotten up on the counter and eaten everything.”

    Me: “You want me to replace the food your dog ate?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…”