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    It Is Paranoia If There Is No One After You

    | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a cashier in a bed, bath and furniture place. We are required to ask customers for emails and postal codes before they pay. I usually skip the email bit for older customers because they usually won’t have an email, but still ask for postal codes. My next customer is an older man.)

    Me: “Hi, is this everything for you today?”

    (The customer just gives me a blank stare.)

    Me: “That’ll be [price]; can I get your postal code?”

    Customer: “MY POSTAL CODE?! WHY DO YOU NEED MY POSTAL CODE?!”

    Me: “Well—”

    Customer: “I’M SICK OF THE GOVERNMENT SPYING ON ME ALL THE TIME! THE LAST THING I NEED IS STORES AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU SPYING ON ME!”

    Me: “…alrighty then.”

    (I proceed to hit the skip button and finish his transaction.)

    Customer: “I must come off as a paranoid freak, but I assure you I’m not!”