Customer: “Miss, is this a diet soda or a regular?”

Me: “Diet, sir – it’s what you ordered.”

Customer: “Are you SURE it’s diet?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I poured it myself.”

Customer: “Well, it had better be, because I’m allergic to sugar!”

Me: *later, taking the food order* “…and what would you like for dessert, sir?”

Customer: “Oh, I’ll have the chocolate cheesecake sundae.”