Internet Disaster Preparedness

(Line activations for Internet service can take up until midnight of the activation date. I am explaining this to the customer and helping him get the software installed on his PC in the meantime.)

Customer: “So, what kind of things can go wrong?”

Me: “Well, a number of things. Most of them are relatively simple to sort out and we should be able to talk it through.”

Customer: “If it doesn’t work after midnight, if something goes wrong, what would I need to do?”

Me: “Okay, well, we’re open twenty-four hours, so even if it’s one minute past midnight, give us a call back and we can do some troubleshooting.”

Customer: “Send out an engineer. I don’t want some f****** technically untrained idiot in call center messing around. I want an actual technician sent out.”

Me: “I assure you, our call center staff are the first line of troubleshooting and can resolve the problem over the phone most of the time.”

Customer: “Just send me out a f***ing engineer now. I know someone in a call centre won’t be able to resolve my fault.”

Me: “So, what exactly is the problem?”

Customer: “I don’t know. It hasn’t happened yet!”