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    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 2

    | Minneapolis, MA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work for a very well-known vacuum cleaner company. As part of our service, we repair and tune up vacuums for our customers. A couple comes in to get their vacuum back from being tuned up.)

    Me: “Here’s your vacuum, folks!”

    (The vacuum has a check-in sheet with the customer’s name, address, phone number and a description of the vacuum attached to it.)

    Wife: “That’s not our vacuum!”

    Me: “Okay, what makes you say that?”

    Wife: “It’s the wrong color!”

    Me: “Okay, what color was it?”

    Husband: “Kind of an off-white.”

    (This vacuum is white. It is very common for tuned up vacuums to be returned looking lighter in color than upon drop-off because they often come to us filthy and the cleaner we use is highly effective.)

    Me: “So it appears to match the description on the sheet.”

    Wife: “I don’t care what your paperwork says! I know what I know! You’re incompetent! Either that or your took our vacuum and sold it!”

    (I spend the next hour calmly explaining to the customers that this is, in fact, their machine. The wife keeps insisting it’s not, that I’m a liar and/or some combination of idiot/thief and that we are incompetent. An hour late, this conversation finally stops chasing itself amid threats of litigation and promises to never come back to our store. I wind up comping them $30 in replacement parts even though I know for a fact they have the right vacuum.)

    Old lady customer: “We’re going to the [location in St Paul that closed two years earlier] from now on!”

    (Three hours later, the phone rings. It is the husband.)

    Husband:“Turns out you were right. We looked at our purchase receipt and the serial number matches the one on the vacuum you gave us. Who do I make the check for the repairs out to?”

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    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum