Inhuman Resources

(It’s a very busy Friday afternoon. As I’m serving customers, I hear a woman in the queue line speaking in a raised voice to her friend. She’s wearing a business suit and looks like a professional.)

Woman: “Look at that! Their job is so easy! All they have to do is put things in bags and stand behind a till! A monkey could do that.”

(Her friend looks very embarrassed as she prattles on, drawing stares from other customers in the process. Finally, she reaches my till and puts a basket full of items in front of me.)

Me: “Good afternoon. Would you like an eco-bag with your purchase?”

Woman: “Yes, yes, get on with it. I don’t have all day!”

(I proceed to scan the items through. Throughout, the customer is talking in to her friend about how easy this job is, and how stupid myself and my coworkers must be. I can feel myself tearing up, but try to ignore it.)

Me: “That’s £59.50, madam.”

Woman: “What? That’s not right! Stupid little b****! You can’t even get something this simple right!”

(Just then, a man being served at the next till speaks up. He’s wearing a t-shirt and jeans.)

Man: “Hey, lady, watch your mouth. This girl has been doing a great job and has been extremely patient with you. I’d have thrown you out by now.”

Woman: “How dare you talk to me like that! Do you have any idea who I am?”

(She brandishes an ID card for a well-known company at him, on which the words ‘HR team leader’ are visible.)

Man: “Well, what a coincidence.”

(He shows her his badge for the SAME company, which has the words ‘senior executive’ visible.)

Man: “I know your direct supervisor personally. I’ll be telling him about your attitude problem on Monday.”

Woman: “I… I…”

(She turns bright red, chucks the money at me and practically runs from the store. Her friend, grinning, follows.)

Man: “Man, pulling rank feels good sometimes.”