(We sell printer ink cartridges. As we don’t have the space to display them all, we place dummy cards which have the name and price on them. They all have a ‘subject to availability’ sticker on them).

Customer #1: “Just these two.” *places dummy cards*

Me: “I’m afraid we’re out of stock on one, sir. Would you like us to order you one?”

Customer #1: “No.”

(I proceed to scan the one.)

Me: “Your total is £15, please.”

Customer #1: “But what about the other one?”

Me: “As I said, we are unfortunately out of stock.”

Customer #1: “Now you listen here! I have, selflessly come in MY OWN time. I have come to YOUR store. Now GET me my INK!”

Me: “I don’t know what I can do for you, sir. We haven’t got it.”

Customer #1: “Well, I’m not moving until I have that ink!”

(He smiles and crosses his arms, keeping eye contact with me. By now, a line has formed behind him.)

Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, sir.”

(The customer doesn’t speak and continues to stand there. Suddenly, another customer behind him grabs him by the scruff of his neck and turns him around.)

Customer #2: “May I suggest you selflessly go f*** yourself?!”

Customer #1: *goes red and quickly darts for the door*