(I work at a state-run liquor store, which basically means the state owns everything, including the liquor. All damages are written off at no penalty to us or the customers. A customer approaches me holding a 1/2 gallon glass bottle.)

Customer: “So, you’re state run, right?

Me: “Yep.”

Customer: “So, if I break something, do I have to pay?”

Me: “No, but it would be really nice if you didn’t.”

Customer: “Well, here’s to getting my tax dollars back!”

(The customer suddenly smashes the $100 bottle on the ground and walks out.)

My boss: *sighs and gets a mop and broom*