In Soviet Russia, Accent Speaks You
(The phone rings.)
Cashier: “Hello, [Name] Pizza… Oh, f***, not again.”
(She hangs up. A few customers come and go, and the phone rings again.)
Cashier: “Hello, [Name] Piz— f*** this!”
Customer: “Hey, lady, problem with the phone?”
Cashier: “Some sicko keeps calling from a blocked number and making creepy comments.”
Customer: “Hang on. I gotta go find my friend.”
(He pays and leaves… and comes back with a 6’8″ NYPD police officer.)
Police Officer: *with a minor Russian accent* “I hear you’re having a problem with a caller?”
Customer: “No, no. Do the accent! Make it f***in’ scary!”
Police Officer: *in a deeper voice with a thick accent* “Excuse me. I hear you have problem with caller?”
(The cashier explains. The police officer orders a slice of pizza, and he and his friend sit and chat for a few minutes. Then the phone rings.)
Cashier: “It’s a blocked number!”
Police Officer: *on the phone, with the accent* “Hello… You are thinking my body is what? I am thinking your body probably very fragile. Very easy to— Oh, he hung up.”
(They stare at the phone a few minutes.)
Customer: “Problem solved?”
Cashier: *to the customer* “So… is your buddy there single?”
Police Officer: *in accent* “Boris have many women. All are love him!”
Customer: “You’re married and your name isn’t Boris!”
Police Officer: “Boris is name of accent. Has life of its own.”
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Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?