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    In Soviet America, Product Buys You

    | Canada

    Me: “Hey there, can I help you out?”

    Customer: “Were these products on Oprah?”

    Me: “Yes, they’ve been featured.”

    Customer: “Celebrities use them, right? So they must be really expensive…like $500 a pop or something, right?”

    Me: “No, not at all. This one here only costs $40 before tax, and none of the products exceed $150.”

    Customer: “So, when the celebrities buy them, they only cost $40?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “And when regular people buy them, they only cost $40?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (A moment of silence passes as the customer glares at me.)

    Customer: “COMMUNIST!”

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